I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
