glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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