so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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