You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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