she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
