id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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