she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
