We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
