did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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