Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
