I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
