she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
