This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
this boner is exhausting
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
