I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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