I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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