I hate all girls vehemently.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
