dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
