i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
