What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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