I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
