ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
