ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
