Swine flu is the new snow day.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
