Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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