i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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