"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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