I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
