...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
