ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
