are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
