don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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