What a fucking waste of an outfit
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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