Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
