I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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