omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
