office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You don't make any sense
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