Small penises have feelings too.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im holly from the hills drunk
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
