rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
