i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
