i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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