I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
