i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
