I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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