I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
