dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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