Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
