after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
