just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
