I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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