ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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